Sunday, May 19, 2013

Experiencing Graduation and a Funeral

Life is good.  Exuberant.  Celebratory.  For four years you have waited for this moment and you are ready.  Ready to celebrate.  Ready to party.  You think, "there is nothing can that can spoil my day".   Instead of going to a party or hanging with friends at the beach, you find yourself preparing to go to a funeral.

How can this be happening?  Why now?  While part of you is lost in sorrow and grief without understanding, another part of you is angry.  Angry because this was suppose to be a party - a celebration.  You feel as though not only was someone you love taken from you, but your whole celebration - the moment - was taken.

You don't know how to feel, how to act, what to do, or even how to be.  I hear your questions, I hear your anger, your joy, your sorrow.  There are times in life when we experience more than a single breath of experience.  We can feel the celebratory experience while still experiencing the loss.

I hear you, How?  there are no experts in the field of human experience.  We are all simply practicing.  Practicing how to be, how to feel, and even how to breath.  So I do not have a simple answer.  What I can share is its okay.  Its okay to celebrate.  Its okay to cry.  Its okay to be angry. Its okay to love and be loved.  Its okay.

Every moment of your experience is the right experience.  Don't place expectations upon your
experience.  Allow yourself to feel how you feel, be how you are, and experience how you experience.

I am extraordinarily proud of each of you.  Proud of your accomplishments.  Proud of your journey.  Excited to see where your path will take you.  And I will be there to celebrate with you as you walk across the stage and take that diploma in your hand.  Taking a deep breath in full of celebratory accomplishment.  Focus simply on that moment as you stand there.

And I will be there when you cross the threshold to a funeral.  To be there to experience with you the grief and tears.  Taking a deep breath in full of love, being loved, and saying goodbye to a love. Focus simply on that moment as you stand there.

Yes there are a multitude of lessons here.  Yes there are a multitude of words you do not want to hear at the moment that will be shared with you.  Yes there are moments you will feel as though it isn't fair.  In the end they are all simply moments.  Moments for you to experience how you will experience them.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Do You Focus on What is Important? Do you know What is Important?


Do You Focus on What is Important?  Do you know What is Important?

Often we find ourselves in a position of asking what am I supposed to focus on?  How am I supposed to know what is the most important?  Is There Anything More Important than anything else?  We can find ourselves wondering if we are really spending the commodity of our time wisely as the distractions of life take the urgency of our focus from experience to experience.

Life can truly become overfull with to do lists that we never get to focus on what we love, what we have passion for.  We find ourselves running on autopilot. 

The adventure we began on turns a corner which takes us down a road with ruts.  We may see the vivid gardens of our dreams but we cannot seem to climb out of the rut of autopilot.  The joys and passion for life begins to ebb out and the river of life begins to recede.  It can even seem as though it is normal.  We can begin to rationalize and justify as we see others around us on the same well-trodden path.  The path can even feel as though it is going somewhere someday if we persist.  A false sense of its ok settles in.

Turning Off the Autopilot

Everyday, every moment is giving birth to a new experience whether we notice it or not.  We begin to see the moments with a new perspective when we take back the steering wheel of our own destiny.  If we remain on autopilot, we stop paying attention to these experiences and crisis begins to occur.  Crisis in our health, our relationships, our business life, and even our spirits.

What we need to do is notice what is going on in our life. To really “see” the importance of the lives around us we have to focus upon our own powerful experiences.

Focusing Skills

So how do we focus?  How do we know what to focus on?  Focus allows us to become aware of the experience of life and all it is birthing around us.  We can experience the sense of what is coming, what doors are opening and which ones are closing.  We can shift our attention from the outside world to the inside world.  Inward focus allows us to begin to see our destiny, the real reason we are here, and what our mission in the world is.  When we practice focus we can know our personal mission statement.

He stared out at the ocean and said, "Look at the view, young lady. Look at the view." 
And every day, in some little way, I try to do what he said. I try to look at the view. That's all. Words of wisdom from a man with not a dime in his pocket, no place to go, nowhere to be. Look at the view. When I do what he said, I am never disappointed.Anna Quindlen in A Short Guide to a Happy Life

Focus Breathing Exercise

Use the following breathing exercise to become aware of your focus in any moment.

Breathing in: Remain here, mind . . . 
Breathing out: And keep awake with me.

Imagery Focus Exercise

Look around the room you are in taking notice of what you see.  Then close your eyes. Breathe out three long, slow exhalations. With your eyes closed look around the room with 
your minds eyes.  What do you see? 

Breathe out one time. Now focus on one object in the room. It can be large or small. Follow your gaze to this object, seeing the blessings flowing along the beam of your attention. Then open your eyes.  Take note of what you noticed both with your eyes before, during the visualization and after to see if they are the same or did the imagery exercise brings new perspectives.

Practice Focus

Carry a small notebook with you and try to notice five things each day to write down that you had not noticed before or that you experience as pure joy.

The quality of one's life depends on the quality of attention. Whatever you pay attention to will grow more important in your life. — Deepak Chopra in Ageless Body, Timeless Mind

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